Sunday, June 12, 2011

America, Fuck Yea: Part 5

America, a haiku...

Well the road trip is over. I know what you’re thinking: “OMG Justin, you guys just started LOL!1! Wasn’t your last blog entry from all the way back in Santa Fe!?!?!” Well, you’re right. The last half of our trip was a whirlwind of activity - driving 10-14 hours each day, sleeping in shitty motel rooms in the middle of nowhere, and stopping at various hotspots just long enough to grab dinner and a caffeine hit. And it was all for this little guy:

That’s Abe, Lauren’s new dog and the reason for our rushed return home. We had known the whole time that he would be coming into the picture when we got back, but it wasn’t until the night of the 7th that we learned the lengths that we would have to go to in order to make it work. We were in Austin at the time, enjoying beers with our friends Sarah and Tim, when Lauren got a call from the dog shelter. As it turned out, Abe was to be transported from Chicago to Connecticut along with another group of dogs. He would be arriving at 4:00PM on the 11th, and it would be our only chance to pick him up. In other words, the race was on.

The next morning, Lauren and I got into the car with a newly revised plan. We would spend the next four days going at a breakneck pace, stopping for dinner in New Orleans, Nashville, and Washington D.C. along the way. We would ride that poor Miata with authority, surviving almost solely on beef jerky, Cliff Bars, and peanut butter & jelly. Come hell or high water, we would make it back to get that dog.

And so it was. As I write this final act of our travel blog from the comfort of my parents’ home in Wrentham, I am finally able to sit back and marvel at our success. But we aren’t done yet. I started this blog to share my experiences and thoughts on America’s varied landscape, and I intend to finish that job... via haiku.

That’s right. As our grand finale, I present to you a haiku on each of the places we visited. Without further ado:

Los Angeles
Think you're an actor?
How's bartending sound instead
Good luck being poor

Grand Canyon
So many people
Something about a canyon
Let's get out of here

Canyon De Chelly
If there were a God
This would be his greatest gift
So awesome it hurts

Santa Fe
Stupid white tourists
Love campy Indian stuff
Wolves howling at moon?!

Beautiful people
Spending all day at whole foods
Hipsters and gays too

New Orleans
Bars starving for cash
Strippers grab you by the arm
Too bad they aren't hot

Country music fest
Lots of Hicks in cowboy boots
Sing about their trucks

(Note: Nashville is actually an amazing city, second only to Austin on this trip. The people at the country music fest were mostly tourists)

Washington D.C.
Didn't meet Obama
But I'm sure he wanted to
Guess I'll forgive him

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